I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
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