"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize