Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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