You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
