dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
