We're facebook friends in real life
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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