Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
