So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I wear drunk well.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
