When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Help me help you realize you are a moron
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
