yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
