Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
