You're completely useless in the revolution.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize