Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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