a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
