I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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