I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it was like eating out sand paper
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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