I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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