we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm at about main and main street
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
