Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
it glows. i had to have it.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
