My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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