Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
