he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
