After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
