I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
