I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
His hands were made for my vagina.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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