Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
