Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
