Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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