AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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