I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
