how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
