i just wanna soil my oats bro
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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