What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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