I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
