Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
