you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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