if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
