thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
