I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
