THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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