She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
