Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
