The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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