why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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