i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
