Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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