normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize