Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
