Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
