I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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