she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
