You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
