Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
