How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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