Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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