last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
