this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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