I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
