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Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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