So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
