Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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