Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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