When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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