sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
