You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
