p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
