I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
